A Small Insight into the Renegades Playing Top Fiasco

The single most difficult task asked of a coach is merely to keep track of his player's tops. I thought I'd write this article to describe what is but a small chapter in this never-ending complex equation. This is a true story and it describes what happened to but a few playing tops on the 6th and 7th of May.

I take Debbie's white 3 and my white 6 on Saturday, just in case (Debbie has already worn hers and mine is unwashed from Wednesday). Eric Orton from Div 2 arrives with a saturated top that is unable to be worn. Eric is not phased; it wasn't as though he was missing a plane because he thought it left on a different day. Eric gets both my tops off me, one for Amile and one for him. So Eric wears Debbie's white 3 and Amile wears my white 6 and I play Libero in my red 6.

Jake Avent from men's honours doesn't bring his playing top; it is also too wet. Jake goes over and borrows a white 24 from Lauren from the Div 2 women's team. (the Div 2 women have already played). Jake warms up with this top, only to be told that the number is too high for honours. Jake goes and swaps his top for a smaller number with none other then Eric Orton. Jake from honours now wears the div 1 women's white 3 and Eric wears Lauren's white top number 24. I think it is important to note that Lauren hands over the white 24 saying that it is Christy's from women's Div 2. This later led Dave and I to ask Christy how Lauren got her top. Christy told us that is not her top at all, her top was stolen 2 weeks ago and she borrowed the white 24 last week.

Later on, I tell Eric to make sure he gives back his top. That night Debbie is most upset with Eric for not returning her white 3, Debbie is without a playing top and almost calls him up. We know now that it was not Eric's fault, he didn't wear the white 3, he wore Christy's white 24 that Jake gave to him after he got it off Lauren (Lauren had borrowed Christy's top last week).

Luckily I still have my white 6 (I don't know how I got it back because Amile didn't even wear my white 6 he played Libero and wore a plain black shirt). Debbie ends up wearing my white 6 on Sunday. This means that the entire men's honours team has to wear white. You see the men's honours team intended to wear red on Sunday and I was going to wear my white 6. Of course I couldn't wear my blue 6 because that's in Brisbane. Debbie had taken my blue 6 and given it to Martene for the masters tournament. Martene gave it to Tammy and Tammy accidentally kept it (So it's in the post I hope). Michael Werner stays at our house on Saturday and he didn't bring his blue uniform, in fact he doesn't think he owns one. So luckily most of us are at a little party at our house. We collect all the men's honours tops and wash them. Cress Savage from honours women takes them all home because she has a dryer and Dave Warwick collects them off her at 9:00am Sunday morning. Jake doesn't know about this turn of events but its OK because he wears Shane Wilmann's white 7 from men's honours. Jake ends up possessing Debbie's white 3, Shane's white 7 and his own white top.

The Div 2 women are in trouble because they are without a top, remember Eric wore Christy's white 24 yesterday. There is a crazy search for a white playing top. Just about everyone is asked. After a lot of running around the best that can be achieved for poor Christy is a top that is wet from yesterday. She complains because it's a boys top. Now this isn't true at all really, even though she received it from a men's honours player. Yes it was in fact Debbie's white number 3. You remember :

• Debbie from Div 1 wore it at Caulfield;
• I took it to Springers and gave it to Eric from Div 2;
• Eric then swapped his top for Jake's who plays men's honours;
• Jake unknowingly takes it home getting Eric into trouble;
• Jake brings it back to Springers to give back to Eric but then kindly offers it to Christy from Div 2 so that she could play in it late Sunday. Christy didn't have a top because Eric had borrowed it off Jake, who had borrowed it from Lauren;
• So Christy borrows the top that Jake had borrowed from Eric, that Eric had borrowed from me, that I had borrowed from Debbie (Debbie's white number 3).

Please Note: The white number 3 playing top was not washed at any stage.

What is really eerie is that the white 24 that Eric borrowed off Jake, who borrowed it from Lauren, who borrowed it from Christy, who had borrowed it last week; used to belong to none other then Debbie (Before she was given the white number 3).

All this confusion is due to missing tops. Please don't steal your top and take it to Germany (Men's white 24) or leave it in a stadium in Morwell where it goes on to be sold by an Op Shop in Taralgon (Men's White 30).

Take extra special care of them. They are more than a uniform.

Wear them with pride.